I was born in Saginaw Michigan, December 6 1982. Our family, consisting of my mother, father and sister, moved to an apartment in Glen Ellyn Illinois when I was 3. My father eventually bought a house in a town called Elgin. Elgin is where I grew up as a child, teen and young adult. I was a hyperactive child and had trouble all through school beginning in kindergarten. I remember my teacher; Mrs. White developed a behavior system for me. If I had a “bad day” I would get a sad face on a little piece of paper to take home for my parents to sign. If I had a day that was OK I would get a face that was neither sad nor happy. If it was a good day I would get a smiley face and my mother would take me out for TCBY treats for ice cream. Needless to say I didn’t get much Ice cream. I’m not sure how abnormal my childhood was, as I’m sure the majority of people in this world haven’t had a picture perfect one either.
Looking back though, I was wild. I had several sexual experiences at a very young age (before I hit double digits). I would light things on fire, fields, cars, dumpsters. Another neighborhood kid and I would spend hours collecting flammable debris, piling it as high as we could, douse it with gas and send it into oblivion. I was a terror, attracted to a fast lifestyle at a very young age. I remember my parents would threaten to send me to the Dominican Republic on a regular basis if I didn’t get my act together. This would work for a day or two but then the fear would wear off and I’d go back to doing whatever I wanted to do.
I was raised in a church, Willow Creek. Much to my parent’s embarrassment, in 5th grade I was kicked out of the children’s program ‘Promiseland’ for my behavior, I was a young earth creationist for a few years in my early twenties, which I attribute responsibility to for my love of science .
It wasn’t that I was a spoiled little brat that wouldn’t listen, because I would sometimes, The only reason I wouldn’t was that I didn’t understand why my parents would want me to do or not do something. If I personally did not see or think that the reasoning was legitimate it would be disregarded. I think this mentality was due to an unwarranted sense of independence and freedom.
Come the teenage years is when my life started to plummet. “I’m a teenager” puberty, social status, popularity, being “cool” became important to me. Although it was what I saw in others that I thought was cool and I got sucked into what was called the “Grunge scene” marked by an obsession for the heroin riddle Seattle band Nirvana. Then later the “Rave scene”. Not everything that came from this long-haired, careless, badly-dressed, depressed and drug glazed lifestyle. Along the way I fell in love with making music and taught myself to sing, play several instruments, drums, guitar, piano, learn the art of audio engineering, video production and web design (Drummer at heart though). I’m currently focusing on electronic music production and music video production. I’m about 1/4th of the way through an album.
I consider myself rather experienced in regards to life. A wild child, defiant towards authority and rather lucky in my brazen pursuit(s) of happiness. Somewhere along the way I discovered the world and became more intellectually orientated in my approach and outlook on life. There is still a wild child beneath the surface; I just have a more control over it...sometimes.
I've gone to college but have a hard time dedicating myself and worse yet, paying for classes that have nothing at all to do with what I wanted to or initially went to college for. Unlike in Europe. I consider myself intelligent, though my level of poverty may say otherwise to some people. I have faith in myself that one day I will find my little niche in life. I've always been a little crazy, not like psycho lock me up before I burn down your house. Just a trail blazer, I've always made my own path in life and done what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Which can be a blessing and a curse. I couldn't bring myself to follow the beaten path of life as I was raised to do. I made my own path. Sometimes I regret it and sometimes I don't. Not that it's something that I'm saying is wrong, but I can admit that there are certain things I would have definitely done differently. That isn't to say though, that there aren't plenty of things I wouldn't. I think that most people have the same emotional duality when looking hindsight at their lives.
I'm lucky enough to have not only found a passion in life, but I have found a few, these are how I'm going to carve out my niche(s) in life. Simply because I can dedicate myself to them from sun up till sun down because it is what I want to do. Like I said, I always do what I want to do when I want to do it and if I want to do something all the time then that's what I'm going to do! The Important things is that they aren't self-destructive and have potential.
I've always been inventive, which I think comes with the territory of a being a trail-blazer. Or in other words, someone who wants to take the shortcuts in life. Isn't that what inventors do though? Make shortcuts, make things easier. Always looking, always thinking.
The life I chose has it's pros and cons as does everyone else's. Sometimes it seems like more cons than anything really. The rule is: What goes up, must come down. I just hope there is a vice-a-versa. I'm an easy person to talk too. I've never been to prison thank baby Jesus. I don't like to kill bugs, I would rather relocate them, although faced with one of those willy nilly jumping crickets trying to get up your pant leg is a different story.
On the outside I probably come across as pretty hardcore but deep down I'm a nerd computer & science wise. I can troubleshoot just about any computer problem. One thing I'm always trying to develop and hone is my sense of humor. Laughter is the best emotional medicine.
On a final note, I’m neither distinctly extroverted nor introverted. It depends on the situation and my frame of mind. There's a lot more to me than can be squeezed into a few paragraphs. That's the fun of it all. I'm a lefty, I have seen a lot of things I do and don’t want out of life, though not rigidly, there’s still room for someone else's dreams.
